Smart Girls–sexy legs and high IQs August 21, 2009Posted by Ken Besseder in Uncategorized.
Tags: Dating, Divorce, online dating, Relationships
by Ken Besseder
“Smart girls, I like smart girls, sexy legs and high IQs—“ Brian Wilson, Smart Girls. “All those songs I used to write…about girls who weren’t too bright.”
“Why are you after the smart ones?” my friend asked. “What do you need it for? Go for the ones who like to have fun.” I didn’t go from writing “She’s real fine, my 409” to creating the mini rock opera “Good Vibrations” like the Original Beach Boy but I’ve pretty much always been the intellectual type. But it’s so tempting to give up the bright ones—because pretty much I’ve concluded that they almost don’t want to let you in. With brilliance comes insecurity. I’ve thought of entitling this memoir:
“Two Ph.Ds, an MD, three MBAs, and a high school French teacher –and still no long-term relationship.”
But a typical day in a typical daydream transpires something like this:
I saw a photo of a beautiful woman, a professor, as it happens on Jdate, the Jewish dating site and I was taken by the stunning picture. Although she lived in Montreal (and turned out to teach at the university my daughter attended last year) I took a chance. Brains and beauty—it will slay me every time. When the woman is that beautiful, she gets dozens if not hundreds of notes in the online dating sites. Most are inappropriate. But optimism is the order of the day and so I sent along a missive.
Ah, attracted to smart women…take a look at my profile…I say that very thing. Your description of the man you seek I also believe describes me:
‘A man who is energetic, kind and caring, equally secure and satisfied with his professional and personal lives as I am with mine. He would be attracted to smart women and like to discuss matters on various topics in depth. Maybe be a bit unconventional.’
I am a professor though not professorial and I really liked your profile. You are a very beautiful woman (if I might say) who appears to understand what relationships are all about. I hope we have a correspondence and who knows what else.”
And to my surprise, I received the following:
Thanks for writing. You indeed sound like a man who is attracted to smart women and who is himself highly intelligent. Your comment “on adore and be adored” (in my profile)* struck a chord. Why is it that some people think they should be on a pedestal and look down at their admirers!!! Must be the king or queen gene.Am in the country for the weekend. Hopefully it’ll be hot and sunny…we’ve had so much rain, cold and gray that it hardly feels like August. Think you’ve had similar weather in TO. (Toronto).
Montreal is a great city. I’m planning a trip to Toronto for November (I think) but I typically don’t travel a lot during the start of a new academic year.
Yours, Jane” (more on her name later)
Bingo, a full house, a royal flush, a grand slam, a 100-yard runback!
I was dying.
*Under my ideal relationship on the JDate site, I say:
“I have several volumes of this on the desk next to me but I will excerpt only the major parts of my forthcoming bestseller on the subject: love, honour, cherish, be mutually caring and considerate. Be fantastically supportive and enthusiastic about the other person — but give each other space. Commitment is everything. Adore the woman beyond reason and she will adore you back if you deserve it. Keep the romance alive at all times. Live with passion.”
Next post: What Happened with Jane and me.